Don't stress, don't stress.

It has all changed, I feel. I don't know how/what to feel about all of this. The distance, independence, decisions, failure. I'm too scared to tackle life on my own. I need focus. I need to piece this all together. I need to consider all of what is happening, happened and will happen is under God's sovereignty. I need to push through.

On a side note, I need some suggestions for stress relief. My floor has put on several activities that calms me and takes me away from all the pressures. Painting (the PI flag), Halloween decorating, Signs, Poker, Cookie Decorating. But, ultimately... it's not enough. I started to read my bible (goal of finishing the whole thing by end of school year) and absolutely lost my face and pride. I don't know why I never got back/set a schedule to read it.

I went vegetarian for a week. A WEEK, 7 DAYS, MILLIONS OF HOURS. not millions. I never imagined pulling that off. I'm not vegetarian this week. I will be next week. Every other week perhaps?

My router or internet source thing in my room isn't functioning. This leaves me working on my computer in the lounge. I guess this is a good thing. I need to be better motivated.

I donated blood. I save lives.

I've been so over-prided about my culture. I'm glad to be Filipino and Filipino-American. Double perspective. It's great to live in such a diverse place, but it's even more amazing finding people with the same situations regarding cultural identity. I've never been this proud. This explains why I painted a Philippine flag.

Guitar Hero

I'm learning how to play the guitar. I asked Hillary (Jen's roomie) to help me instead of paying for expensive classes. I want a guitar. I rock/wall-climbed. It's such a high. I think we are coming back for the third time tomorrow. I went clubbing, trying to get in with a fake ID, but ended up slipping in some money to the bouncer. I found my niche, volunteering tuesday and wednesday and immersing myself with filipino culture.

On top of all that, I am ahead of the game, on top of my studies, reading, papers, assignments. So far, perfect scores on all assignments. I feel proud of myself. But it all comes down to my first quiz tomorrow and upcoming midterms.

Oh, and I'm donating blood in two weeks.

I'm sleeping early tonight, JP.

Lesson Learned

Scratch what was said in the former post. Everyday is what you make it to be. I choose to halt this routine. I'm loving this independence. It really shows who I am, from the decisions I make with my time.

I need to branch out. Venture out for new things, new activities. I'm too timid.

This puts me on the topic of girls. My mentor from this program was telling me to just introduce myself to everyone and anyone, especially those who appeal to me. No feeding around bushes and being all shy. Take it like I mean it. I might just take this advice.

I lied, maybe. I can't. I have to give him an update during our meeting in 2 weeks. He won't be proud.

I just can't sleep. I try to sleep early every night, lets say between 10:30 and 12:30, but it never works out. I got up and had a frustrating talk with my mother while eating an asian-style salad.

I'm just sailing by classes. I need to put in all the effort.

Freshman 15/23 update: +2 pounds. I'm losing my abs muscles.

Beyond,
JP


ps. no image, sorry. Too dark in the room.

System Overload

It's all becoming a routine now. A tedious, never ending one. I'm hoping to add a couple of things to mix it up a little. Fellowship, workout/martial arts, mentorship. But so damn much reading. I'm only behind 30 pages and I'm already stressing out. I need to be on top of things. I won't let it slip away. Other than that, college is great. (especially...the food! ranked 12th baby!)

I think I'm way over trying the new things and just sticking to what I know/familiar with. It was fun, for the ride. But it's over now. Maybe? i don't know. Give me anything other than a routine. Tomorrow's a new day.

As I type this entry, Kanye's "Love Lockdown" plays in my head and somehow works it way into what I'm writing.

To the Egyptian pyramids,
JP.